BATTLE OF THE ANTS

But...Happy New Year everyone.

I am working a lot on work-for-money right now, trying to counteract the naturally light-on-the-billing-hours month of December which was exacerbated by my decision to run off to SF after all. It'll all work out—it always does.

I had a really good time at MLA—probably because I wasn't presenting, wasn't interviewing—and at some point I'll write in more detail about why it was a good time. I did spend some chunks of time talking to Bev (who has a funny post about how we met up) and Billie, which was very cool. Except, and this is for Billie, I feel the need to mention very clearly that I am doing a literature PhD and not rhet/comp. :) Although lord knows I love my rhet/comp peeps.

Ok, back to work.

Labels: grad school, misc life

I will be doing the November round-up (in the next few days...) of posts for the 23rd Carnival of GRADual Progress. I have a bunch of things bookmarked, but if anyone wants to suggest things of their own or things they've seen from others, just to ensure that I get them, then please leave them in comments or e-mail me.

Thanks!

Labels: grad school

1) I am going to be 35 in a month and 5 days. Thirty fucking five. I'm kinda having a hard time with it. It could be because I spend a lot of time with people 10+ years younger than I am and, as much as I adore some of them, it's really difficult for me to communicate in meaningful ways. I need to figure that out or forget about it. But right now I'm just pretty wigged out that I'm going to be 35 in a month and 5 days (yes, my birthday is during MLA, so any of you who will be at MLA on the 30th, come drink cool refreshing beverages with me in a town I know pretty darn well).

2) I could sit down right now and write my dissertation prospectus. I really could. That would be great if today was November 25 of 2009. If I didn't have two seminar papers to write and ~200 pieces of student work to comment on in some way, I'd probably do it. Maybe over break.

It's kind of been a weird day.

Labels: grad school, misc life

It's that time of the semester when grad students everywhere are furiously pulling together seminar papers during that "vacation time" we have around the end of November. At least that's what I'm doing...

I'm also grading like a madwoman. I plan to grade through the weekend (it helps that this year's Apple Cup is between the 0-10 UW Huskies and the 1-10 WSU Cougars, hence this year's unofficial name, the "Crapple Cup," and my complete lack of interest in it, which is saying something because I love me some football) and then work like crazy on my seminar papers. I have a draft of one due on the 1st, and a presentation on the other on the 2nd, with the final versions due two weeks hence.

I feel a lot better about these things than I did at this time last year. Then again I only have two instead of three and a language exam like last year. Then again, I wasn't teaching three classes last year, so it should be a wash. But whatever...could just be that I've learned some stuff between then and now!

It's hard to imagine that I only have two courses left in my PhD program. Seems like only yesterday I was deciding between Davis and WSU, and here I am starting to work on exam lists and a rough idea for a dissertation. That's pretty cool.

But before I get too far ahead of myself, I have to finish up these papers...and for that I would really like that magical calendar or time machine or whatever that gives me three or four hours for every actual hour in the day.

Labels: grad school

...and I think that's really cool.

True, it would have been cool to teach Chesnutt any week of the year, any year, because I heart Charles Chesnutt. But it was especially fun to discuss his stories the day before, and the day after, Obama became president-elect.

I am shadowing Donna Campbell's ENGL 481: American Lit 1855-1915 upper division course. "Shadowing" means we come to the class and watch and learn, and teach a few days if we want (duh! do want!). There are only nine students in the class, which is sad, because it is such an awesome class and the DMC is such a good teacher.

Anyway, before the semester began, Dr. Campbell asked which days I'd be interested in teaching, and I said definitely Chesnutt day(s) because I love Chesnutt and the first time I teach literature to upper division students I'd rather it be something I know pretty well and love quite a bit. Right? Luckily she said ok—even though she also loves Chesnutt. I thought that was mighty nice of her. Then it turned out that she had a workshop thing to go to and I would get to teach both days of Chesnutt. Score!

I had everything planned out for the first day—I wanted to avoid any sort of issues with time because I had teased Toria about her inability to tell time when she taught the class she was shadowing (she wrapped her class up after precisely 50 minutes...except T/Th classes are 75 minutes long) because payback's a bitch—including meeting up with DMC 20 minutes before class started to make sure my plan was a good one. Except, um, I wasn't 20 minutes early, I was 5 minutes early...just in time to walk to class. That was dumb. But I did my 20 minute intro/ppt stuff, then 25 minutes of discussing the first story ("The Goophered Grapevine"), and then planted my segue to the second story ("Dave's Neckliss") and...crickets.

None of them got the handout for the second story.

One industrious student looked it up and read it, thank god, so we walked through a summary and talked about stuff anyway. But it was pretty funny.

On the second day, everyone who was there had read both stories (or at least faked it really well), and we had a good conversation about "The Wife of His Youth" and "The Passing of Grandison." Everyone seemed to really dig Chesnutt. No one had read him before. Some of them wrote blog posts for class about the stories. That's cool.

Earlier in the semester, I mentioned very briefly that these students had done some cool stuff with Wordle, and it's true—they did. The other two days I that were "my days" were early in the semester, in the computer lab, and it was all about working with the Dickinson and Whitman archives. Over a couple of days, some looked at editions of Leaves of Grass, or just the covers, and then a bunch of people did word clouds—for Drum Taps, the 1867 Leaves of Grass, the deathbed version of "Song of Myself", and a very interesting one for Dickinson's 1862 poems. Sometimes the simplest tools are the most helpful for students. That's what I learned pretty quickly about word clouds.

Oh wait, this was supposed to be about Chesnutt. Sorry! I just got on an excited little tangent. I'm pretty excitable. I'm also trying to avoid grading papers.

Labels: grad school, teacher-like

Seriously? It was JUST September, right? And now it's the end of week 10 and I somehow missed all of October. Wow.

Labels: grad school, misc life

Often, I think a post and a comment thread from years ago (it's here if you're interested) in which George Williams included my old blog in a list of academic blogs. I wrote about that here, in 2004, and it's really interesting to go back and read that now (ok, maybe just to me). Back then I was not an academic. I was just, as I said, "a geek who blogs, and I happen to go to school." I wasn't even doing my MA in English—I was still in B-school mode. Bitch PhD commented that her blog was "Scholarship plus crazy personal shit plus bitching" and George piped up with "Right. That's what I said: Academic Blogging."

That moment was probably one of those "had to be there" moments, but it has always stuck with me. Academics read a lot. They bitch. They have lives.

Today I had the feeling that I've really arrived as a professional in this field (ok, still a grad student, but whatever. I get paid.). No, I wasn't notified of an award or a publication, and no, a student did not come to me after class and tell me how I changed his or her life for the better.

Instead, like every day this week (and last week, and the week before that, and the week before that, and oh yeah, the week before that and finally, yes, the week before that) I arrived on campus with coffee in hand before 7:30, had several meetings in a row, taught class, sat in class, had more meetings, was too stupid to eat, and got home around 6pm....AND DID NOT GET ONE SHRED OF MY OWN WORK DONE.

So there. That is the definition of an academic. I have arrived.

Labels: grad school

Today, several undergrads in a class I'm shadowing did cool things with Wordle and the poetry of Whitman and Dickinson.

If I get a moment to crawl out from the rock I'm under, I'll write about it. But it was really wonderful.

Labels: grad school, teacher-like

Uh....really busy? It's true. Maybe later today I will take a moment and write some stuff down. It's not like things aren't happening 'round here.

Labels: grad school

So the semester started on Monday and already I feel like I've lost a week. Several of my friends commented (and I wholeheartedly agreed) on Wednesday that the semester was three days old and we were already behind.

Holy crap.

Ok, not really, but that is how it felt.

As for me, I'm doing something typically-Julie with regards to my schedule/load. I am:
* teaching three classes: 2 sections of English 101 (see syllabus) and 1 section of English 402 (see syllabus).
* taking two seminars
* shadowing one prof in an upper-division undergrad class
* and then there's the whole job thing

I can answer any questions the new people have about how things work, etc, with the exception of "how many classes should I take" or "how much sleep do you get" and so on. I tell them that I am absolutely not the person to ask that particular type of question.

I admit—and I am still quite happy about it although it makes me shake my head in disbelief at myself—that I asked for three classes. Actually, I dropped a big hint in the office when I said (before the semester) that I would be happy to teach a 3/0 this year instead of a 2/1 because that would give me a semester plus a summer of unfettered exam studying (unfettered except for the typical fettering of two seminars in the spring and my job) for the fall. I knew we were in a little bit of a bind because of some last-minute hiring away (or quitting) of some people who were on the schedule, so I said "hey, you know..." and thus reminded anyone who would listen that I'm a bit of a freak.

I'm a lot more comfortable teaching my 402 than I am the 101, even though Toria and I spent all summer planning it out. It's not the content that I am worried about—it's the people. I haven't taught 18-year-olds for a year and a half; I've taught juniors and seniors since I've been here. Ok, truthfully I'm not even all that worried about it. It's just that some of them seem so very young in the classroom. I say "in the classroom" to differentiate them from "on paper" because I asked them to write a little in-class thing and some of them were funny and thoughtful. Actually, most of them were. But the in-class behavior of some is just...not what I'm used to. After everyone settles down from this first week I'll nip some of that in the bud, but still...I made a mental note to myself about a few things I didn't think I'd have to note.

But at least I know approximately 30% of their names after two class meetings. In my other class, not so much yet. I have a total of 77 students and I think that my brain will explode trying to remember everyone.

Labels: grad school, teacher-like

(I think there are a few of you...)

One of my friends is going to her Very First Grown Up Conference in the fall: GEMCS. She is a second year MA student, is absolutely going to continue on to the next degree, and she is just beside herself with joy about being a Real Live Academic at a conference and everything.

So, my dear readers of the Early Modern variety, if any of you have been to a GEMCS conference or otherwise have any advice you'd like to offer a newbie in your field, PLEASE leave a comment or email me. Thanks!

Labels: grad school

Today is day one of the department orientation for the incoming grad students. A few of us are really stoked about it, which is good because we are responsible for talking about "graduate school survival and success"—as the panel is so named. We (me, Tor, Laur, and Critter) got together yesterday to "plan" what we were going to say for an hour.

Each of us have our talking points, each of which are about dispelling myths. Our points take approximately very few minutes out of our allotted hour, at which time the panel will—as Tor put it—become a hot mess. But in a good way!

Hopefully we will show that it doesn't matter which program you're in (the panel is made up of an MA student in lit (early modern), an MA student in r/c (and digital media stuff), a PhD student in lit (19th c american and textual studies), and a PhD student in r/c (working with video games in all sorts of ways))—if you have something to contribute or something to ask or something to say that (god forbid) contradicts something else, just do it. No one will hate you or think you're stupid or brand you forever as an imbecile. Well, none of us will.

One of the major points we want new students to understand is that we do not support the rift between r/c and literature folks and that little boxes, although handy when introducing yourself quickly to someone, are ultimately limiting. We're not turning out a billion PhDs each year here, but we hope the ones that do go out in the world tend toward the sunshine and puppies/let's all work together side of things as opposed to the "my field is better than your field" pissing contests that are all too common.

Anyway, today should be fun.

Labels: grad school

I did not have a good office last year. It was small, had no window, and my officemate was...not someone I really wanted to be around. It was decorated in such a way that I was uncomfortable making any changes (such as adding my own stuff). I spent very little time in my office—like none, actually. Only when students made appointments with me did I ever go to my office.

But you see, I had grand visions of coming to grad school and moving my books into my office and doing schoolwork in the office and just generally being in an academic atmosphere and feeling happy about it. That didn't happen last year. I was sad.

However, this year, and for the next three, I have an awesome office. It's big, has a window that looks out over a particularly pretty part of campus, has good shelf space, and—best of all—comes with a great officemate. Oh yeah, and we have a recliner, a fridge, and a microwave. Party in Avery 381!

I've finally moved all my important stuff into my office. Besides books and papers in the appropriate places, I put up a clock, and some prints from Tiny Showcase. Also, some of Chris Clarke's photos are on the door. It's a very welcoming place, and it makes us both happy to be here (she had her share of not-so-hot office experiences last year).

And, like a good little scholar of 19th C American stuff, my action figure Poe (with detachable raven) sits on my shelf and watches over me.

Labels: grad school

I like rhetoric and composition. I like learning about it, I like teaching it, I like other people who teach it. I like keeping up with goings-on in the Writing Center and reading placement exams. I don't see a problem with any of that, but there sure are people who think those statements make me a traitor to my field (just think what people would say if told them that I also spend a fair amount of time in the science and engineering library! the horror!).

My soon-to-be office mate (and already-friend) is a rhet/comp person. I've already warned her that the books I'm bringing to the office will surprise her—I own comp theory texts! Oh no! The world will end! But you know what? Those books haven't engaged in battle with the lit crit texts. Everyone gets along just fine.

I'm on the WPA-L and techrhet mailing lists, and I have picked up numerous tips/sparked many ideas—and not only for the composition/prof writing classroom but ideas for the literature classes I'll eventually teach. I'll tell you another list I'm on: the First Year Experience mailing list. I know, I'm close to getting my literature card revoked. But this fall, my two composition sections are part of the Freshman Focus program. My two classes, and another grad student's two classes, are linked with two sections of World Civ II. I consider myself lucky that the World Civ instructor, and my comp partner, are also totally into this program. We're syncing syllabi, planning activities in the dorms, the three of us participated in a small reading group with the FYE director and two other faculty members around this book, and we're generally just stoked about the whole deal. But as literature grad students, we're not "supposed" to be.

And I think that's pretty dumb.

The chances are extremely high that working with freshmen and teaching composition will be part of my life for years to come. Why wouldn't I want to learn as much about it as possible, in order to do the best job possible? Of what benefit is it to think that working with freshmen and teaching composition is a punishment? Of what benefit is it to denigrate those who do teach it, and especially those who specialize in it?

Even in my lovely little grad program, there are those in literature who won't speak to people in rhet/comp. And I've had rhet/comp people ask why I was reading X or Y or Z when X, Y, and Z are "comp books." I will walk away from conversations when they turn to smack-talking against rhet/comp people. I've made it clear that I'm not picking sides, that there's no reason for it to be a war. I believe it's all borne from insecurity anyway. If that loses me some friends in real life, I'm fine with that. I'll retreat to the comfort of my blogroll, which exists as a spectacular interdisciplinary "virtual department" from which I learn a lot, from people I respect.

Labels: grad school

While proctoring an exam the other day, I was randomly paired with another proctor I had never met before. Seeing as how we were there to proctor an exam, I didn't expect a lot of chit-chat. I brought some paperwork to do. Glad I did, because otherwise etiquette would have forced me to continue this conversation.

Other Person (OP): So, are you a...MA student?
Me: No, PhD, lit.
OP: Oh, I'm sorry.
Me: [tight-lipped half-smile of politeness]
OP: I got my lit PhD here.
Me: [tight-lipped half-smile of politeness]
OP: What's your field?
Me: 19th century American, textual studies, digital scholarship.
OP: Oh, I'm sorry.
Me: [tight-lipped not-so-much a smile anymore, wondering how long I can hold on to being polite]
OP: You won't get a job.
Me: [and...I'm done] I'm not really worried about that. [Note: I'm not. Not because I think I'm awesome, but because a) I'm well aware of the vagaries of academe, b) I'm not going to be on the market for three more years, c) I am progressing as appropriate under the guidance of my committee and everything else is out of my hands so why worry?]
OP: [doesn't have a response] You should switch to rhet/comp or something British. I was 20th century American.
Me: I do a fair amount of interdisciplinary work with rhet/comp, and I am decidedly an Americanist. I'm fine with my choices.
OP: [switches over to talking about the students coming to take the exam] So, typically I reiterate the instructions a few times because these kids, they're just not very bright. You'll see that when you read them later. And then you'll get to teach them! Poor you.
Me: They're typical freshmen. I don't expect them to excel at things they haven't learned yet. And I like teaching composition. [so basically, shut the fuck up.]
...
Time passes. Students are taking their exam. I am looking at some comments on papers from my adviser, A. Other person looks over at the paper.

OP: Are those your comments? They're hard to read.
Me: No, these are my adviser's comments on some stuff I'm working on. [Also thinking, "Won't you shut up? Students are taking an exam!"]
OP: Who's your adviser?
Me: [tells her]
OP: Oh, have you sucked up to her dog yet? [My adviser happens to have a very wee doggie that is always around.]
Me: [And this is where I decided I was done with this person. Don't disrespect my adviser or insinuate....anything shitty.] Uh, no. I don't have any reason to suck up, nor would I. My work speaks for itself, and she's good with it. And so am I.

And that was pretty much that. I left out a part where I mentioned I had a career, and what in, and she was all "Oh, I'm sorry about that" too. Basically, in 15 minutes the woman showed me all the reasons she would be a terrible colleague: disrespectful toward chosen fields of study, other scholars, and students. There's not much left. I am not surprised in the least that she didn't get a job.

[I am guilty of the whole "what, British? bleh!"-type comments, but only to people I know, who know I'm not serious, and are usually followed by some deprecating remarks about my own choices. I claim there's a difference.]

[I am also guilty of having been this person, many years ago, in my other field...although I had a job, it didn't keep me from being a jerk to other people.]

Labels: grad school

I'm going off to San Francisco (and vicinity) later this week. The American Literature Association annual conference alternates between San Francisco and Boston and this year it happens to be in SF (and those friends of mine in the Boston area, you can be damn sure I'll be there next May).

I went to this conference in 2006—just for one day, just to see what it was all about and how different things were between a wee graduate conference (of the type I had been to) and a conference consisting of major scholars in my field. What I found in 2006 was that people were nice, speakers were smart (and sometimes funny), and people at all levels (grad students, junior faculty, senior faculty) were sometimes nervous and self-conscious. In other words, I didn't learn anything new about the profession or about people, but I had a lot of suspicions confirmed—namely, that people are human and the only thing keeping me from giving my own presentation was an interesting thought or two of my own. Nothing I couldn't overcome.

Now, two years later, I have original and interesting thoughts of my own. However, I couldn't get my shit together in early January and submit an abstract of anything for consideration, so I'm not presenting anything of my own. But I am presenting.

Make that "reading"...I'm pinch-hitting for someone who can't make it to her panel. I will read her paper at the first panel on the first day of the conference. It's a favor, and if academics are anything like business (or life itself, I suppose), favors are always good things to do.

I am not really nervous about it, despite the fact that the paper is full of hifalutin' language that I read more than I hear (let alone speak), and despite the fact that the subject is not something in which I am well-versed (or even minimally versed), and despite the fact that the person I am standing in for is a major player in that particular area. Of course, now I'm nervous about not being nervous.

To do this favor, I'm flying in a day earlier than planned, which means that I'll pick up my buddy Michelle from the airport the next day. Like true literature geeks, we have panels all mapped out for two others days of the conference. Some of our grad school buddies and profs are presenting and we will be supporting them by going to their panels and cheering wildly (ok, not the last part). I'm particularly interested to see what the DMC does with Edith Wharton and Aquaman...yes, from Entourage. If there's one thing I've learned in my short time here at WSU it is to trust the DMC. But still...should be interesting.

Oh and on one of the days on our trip, we're doing a particularly insane Yosemite experience. Believe me, I will report back.

Labels: grad school

At first I thought this was going to a continuation of the running joke I have with myself about how it's just so awesome that I have eight books (thirteen total editions) to my name when not a single one is actually applicable to my new career.

But as I was finishing up the 4th edition of Sams Teach Yourself PHP, MySQL, and Apache All-in-One—which I believe is off to the printers now and will be on the shelves of your favorite Barnes & Noble (etc) in a few weeks—I thought "you know, I know this book is used in colleges and universities...that kind of makes it applicable...I wonder how many places use it?" I e-mailed my people and got an answer pretty quickly: over 150 (I have a spreadsheet).

Huh.

So...where does this go on my CV? Currently I have a section at the end called something like "non-academic publications" where I put all this stuff/my old CNet and HotWired stuff/etc...is that a good place? Does it not belong at all? Does it belong more prominently? Would it belong more prominently once I do more "academic" things with my technical knowledge?

These are things I'm wondering today. Any insights welcome.

Labels: grad school, technical interlude

So A (my committee chair) says the other day something along the lines of "Hey, I want to read some theory. You want to read some theory?" and I said "Theory? Never have to ask me twice." or something like that. She wanted to read Baudrillard's The Conspiracy of Art and I wanted to read/re-read some McGann with someone, and we came up with the two Hayles books and the Landow book together.

I'm teaching during second session (starts June 16) and she's leaving town right before that, so we're doing our little reading thing over the next six weeks (tomorrow's the first meeting: Baudrillard first). Theory is way more fun when you're reading/talking about it with someone...and not in a pretentious or way but in a way that makes you want to just run right out afterwards and write or build something cool.

Labels: grad school

Tomorrow represents the first day of the final week of my first year in the PhD program. After this week, I will have only 4 courses to take (next year: 2/2), exams (Fall '09) and my diss year. Although in years I'm only 1/4 through, it feels like so much more since it was 64% of my coursework.

But this post is not my retrospective of my first year.

Nor is it my explanation of the week of awesomeness I mentioned a few weeks ago.

Those posts will have to wait until this semester is put to bed.

But everything is lovely. I look forward to having the time to return to the gym, to hike around on the weekends, to visit California in a month or so (ALA conference just happens to be there), and to start revising a few papers and working up some conference proposals. You know, like a good little scholar...

In totally unrelated news, I was reading through some stuff on my old blog, and realized that some of it was pretty interesting and useful (mostly back in 05 and thereabouts). I was looking for some stuff I had written 3 or 4 years ago about using little pieces of technology, because some people still think it's "new" and asked me to explain it. Yeah, there's just a little tinge of sarcasm or something in that sentence. But that's for another day.

Labels: grad school

My dear friend Trout, who darn well better update his blog with this news, will be joining me in the PhD program up here in the Palouse. I am SO STOKED, not only because I adore the Trout and Karen (wife of Trout) but because I already know he will be a good colleague and student, and a great guy to have in the hallways, and a great teacher, and blah blah blah. So not only do I get some of my old cooking/eating/drinking/thinking buddies, the university benefits as well! It's a win-win!

Go Cougs! and Trouts!

Labels: grad school, misc life